followstheflame | Report 030

That we're not a complete secret? A little bit.

...I'm sorry, Lieutenant but it's th'truth.

I'd rather go home n' meet my grave than stay here n' be a walkin' corpse without her.

[All at once he can't stop himself from continuing.]

I had thoughts over th'past few days that'd make my Ma slap me all th'way from th'East for thinkin' 'em. I don't even know why th'hell she left me n' any time I try t'talk t'her about it she's so aloof and it hurts all over again. No, scratch that, I know why n' don't know why she still left me.

[By that time, his knuckles are white on the glass he's holding and Kitten nudges his foot because it's stopped rubbing. That and she doesn't want him to set the house on fire with that angry, confused glare at the hardwood.]

[Once he starts speaking again, Riza watches him closely, slowly putting down her glass and rounding the table to stand in front of him when he gets a little too crazy. She holds his glass in one hand and tries to pry his fingers off of it.]

Havoc, stop this.

[Kitten moves out of the way when Riza comes to stand in front of Jean and there isn't much prying needed, maybe just some coaxing before he lets go of the glass in his hand.

He does do what she says though, he stops it all entirely and just stares/glares at the place he chose until he makes it to her feet where the glare is lessened. He's not angry with her after all.]

Does it bother you at all?

[She reaches up (way high, because wow, you're tall) to cup his face in her hands and keeps eye contact.]

Listen to me. I don't want to hear you give up so easily. Life is difficult, but we all have to accept that and move on.

Just because you've had bad experiences with women doesn't mean you're wrong. Maybe...you haven't found the right woman.

[She then realizes she's really close and that's probably not helping Havoc. Riza lets go and takes a step back.]

I'm sorry.

We trust those who know.

I think it's only obvious to those of us who do know you well enough to notice.

You're both... happier. You seem more at ease with the world when you're around each other.

You haven't lost your edge, either. It's strengthened you both.

That's what real love is.

[Her eyes go wide, then she chuckles nervously.]

You're...very observant, Alphonse.

Everyone's favorite not-Amestrian, reporting for duty, Lieutenant.

[Chuckle.]

Thank you, Ling.

You're welcome.

[Jean freezes in spot when her hands fall onto his cheeks, suddenly he wishes that he shaved this morning. It's not so much her words but her vicinity that has him so captured, being touched affectionately like that has been on his mind constantly. Sure, the least likely person he thought it would be is Riza Hawkeye.. but he'll take it where he can get it at this particular time. He feels broken, used, un-needed, hollowed out, dead inside- he could be in a room full of a thousand people and still feel alone.

But that touch. Not so much who it's from, but the affection behind it is true enough for him.

Before her hands fall too far away, his catlike reflexes capture one of her wrists. His grip is strong but nothing close to what the full extent of Jean Havoc's brutish ability to hold something could be. It's soft enough a grasp to let her know he's not intending harm and brings her tinier hand back slowly up toward his cheek. His eyes close at its approach and his head bows to meet her arm half way so she's not over-extending it. Ever so gently the hand previously holding her wrist slips upward and he cups the back of her hand with his large one, nestling his cheek into her soft hand.]

[This isn't good. Riza knows she's in dangerous territory, but she has to be careful in how she handles this. If she moves away too quickly, he could feel rejected, but if she stays...

Riza doesn't want to give him false hope.

But all she can do is freeze there, debating her options. Her hand against his cheek curls away and she tries to slowly pull away.]

[There's another laugh, and he pockets his PCD, turning to face the door, head bending to lean against the wall.]

Are you smiling right now?

[Dangerous indeed, luckily Jean's mind isn't so clouded over that the way her hand curls doesn't signify some sort of twisted caress. That realization hits him pretty hard and he instantly lets go of her hand, his eyes opening again to hers.]

...Thank you.

[Not sorry, he's not, but thank you instead. However the next thing he does is grab wherever she put his drink and throw it back, wincing it all the way down while he drains the beakerish glass. That done he clears his throat while the burning sensation still lets him know he's alive, hitting his chest with his hand a bit. Yeesh, hardcore burn.]

I won't try it again, Lieutenant, y'can relax. I just got caught up n' it won't happen again I guarantee.

[She keeps an eye on him, concerned.]

I know. I'm only worried about you.

[Damnit, he knows her too well.]

...Maybe.

[He just smiles at the door, shifting off the wall and gently knocking on the door.]

[She opens the door just enough to peek out at Roy on the other side.]

Should I let in someone who isn't here?

[He moves his head enough to peer back at her, a huge grin spreading across her face.]

Isn't talking to yourself one of the first signs of insanity?

[She tilts her head and squints at him a bit.]

...That's a point. Looks like I'm doomed.

[He laughs again, smiling widely and pulling the door open just a little.]

People who aren't here couldn't open the door.

Edited 2010-05-08 22:18 (UTC)

[Jean stares down at Kitten when she crosses back in his view, headed back to her litter since it seems things are under control. For a long while he looks at Riza and her concern for him. He's not misinterpreting it and that's obvious from his body language, he's just trying to assess it.]

Don't worry about me.. I'll ..

[He doesn't know what, but quickly words don't fail his idiot brain now.]

Get over it, I guess. Like th'other times, I'll get over it.
[That was definitely more for her than him. But gaining pity isn't what he's after and it was a sincere try to calm her even though his thoughts haven't changed truthfully.]

Mm. So, regardless if he keeps up the maintenance, he still needs me, until he gets his real limbs back.

Report 030 - [Voice]

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